[Monkey D. Luffy? There's a name for you.] There are pirates, now? Blimey, we haven't had those where I come from in centuries - well, there are still some around the coasts of Somalia and the Philippines, but as far as I know, they don't...swashbuckle.

Well, nothing glamorous like chasing uncatchable thieves around the world, but... God, most of the standouts are just gruesome. ...I think the highlight of my career so far was when some complete and utter bastard was kidnapping girls off the streets and locking them in his basement - no demands for ransom or anything, of course, at least six families completely hysterical - and we managed to track the twat down, get him in custody, and find his sick little fun house before worse came to worse. The poor things were all dehydrated and half-starved, but they were all alive and they all recovered. That...that was a good day.