cop_an_attitude | 01 | [Voice/Action]

[For a moment, nothing happens. The camera is focused on a patch of grass. There are rustling sounds and a woman's voice mutters indistinguishably to herself, and eventually the journal is righted so that the camera focuses on Sally's face. There is a leaf in her hair. She does not look happy.]

Right, I think I've worked out what this thing does, and I just want to say that if this is someone's idea of a joke, I'm not laughing. See this? [She lifts up a police badge containing her ID.] This is a police badge. It's my police badge, yeah? It says I'm Sergeant Sally Donovan of London PD, which means that when I find out who's responsible for this, for...this [She gestures down the length of her body, at the dress that isn't hers] and for this [She turns the journal to take in the unfamiliar surroundings] and I don't even know how to start about this [She jerks her thumb over her shoulder at the pair of dark brown wings that definitely aren't supposed to be there] that person or persons are in a world of trouble.

My advice to you, whoever you are, is to come forward immediately. That's less trouble on my part and a lighter sentence for you, so it's in everyone's best interest. Do not make me find you.

[Sally fumes silently for a moment, and when she decides her point has been made, the recording ends.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, fine now. [She bristles a little at the implication that she was out of hand in some way, but remains civil.] Sorry, who are you?

Vice Admiral Smoker.

Navy?

Marines, but close enough. In my world they're the same thing.

Are they? How long have you been here, then?

Two years in April

Do they give you anniversary gifts? [A joke, but an almost entirely mirthless one.]

...Sorry...are you smoking two cigars at once, mate?

I wish. Though there's jokes about setting up a greeting card shop.

Yes. I am. [Completely unabashed about it too.]

There should be singing ones. Open it up and it plays Hotel California.

...Your lungs, not mine.

The books do that more than enough.

I'm a devil fruit user. I can turn into smoke. My lungs are fine, but thanks for the concern.

They sing Hotel California? Because if so, I know someone who might have a laugh at it.

What's a devil fruit? You can turn into smoke?

Ginia usually takes requests and I'm sure you could ask someone else.

Right. A devil fruit curses you for life, and gives you an added power. Mine is smoke.

Who's Ginia? A singer, I assume.

What kind of curse?

Among other things.

To some people even having such a power is a curse. It also gives a weakness to ocean and seastone. That means a lot more in my world, since it's almost completely ocean.

Is it? That is some rotten luck, then. I suppose it also explains why the Marines and the navy are the same.

Could be worse. I like my devil fruit power. Turning into smoke is no small thing. [Even if it does make him a serious addict.]

I guess not. What do you use it for?

Smoking out the criminals.

[Puts on sunglasses. Yeaaaah!!]

That may actually be the single worst pun I've ever heard. If we were at a pub I might be obliged to buy you a drink for it on principle.

[Grins.]

In that case, I'd be forced to take you up on it. Good thing it's not one then.

Good thing. Sadly, too, I never did like smokers...

You'd hate my world then, just about all the law enforcement smokes, sergeant.

There was a point in history on my world when nearly everyone smoked, but now there are all sorts of laws against smoking indoors or too near a building. It's getting less common in the city, at least.

There are laws against smoking?

[He is so horrified. Can you hear it in his voice? So horrified.]

[She can hear it. And she's very amused.]

Of course. For public health and safety.

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